Today's rant concerns the "two most dangerous words in the English language": Marge Simpson. I have always disliked her, but today, this dislike became a burning hatred.
The episode that brought about my current fury is one from season 6-The PTA Disbands. For those of you who are unaware, Springfield's teachers go on strike after becoming frustrated with Principal Skinner's various (implausible) cost-cutting measures. As a result, the parents of Springfield, particularly Homer and Marge Simpson, are desperate for their children to resume their schooling after witnessing disturbing behaviour-or just general laziness, if the children don't happen to have the last name Simpson.
Marge's thoughts are as follows: "Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning, I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat...Bart's not doing very well, either. He needs boundaries and structure. There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome." Uh, Marge? I believe providing boundaries and structure for your child is your department, regardless of his teachers being on strike. It's not like he was a saint before this incident. Regardless of the various explanations for this behaviour (ADD, not enough hugs, being a genius-whatever), there's clearly something wrong at home if none of these causes provide a solution.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, however. My primary gripe with the Simpsons is that it's been on far too long, and has 'jumped the shark'. In trying to combat this, the writers have decided to exaggerate the characters' deficiencies to the point of absurdity, instead of, say, coming up with improved plots, or even cancelling the show altogether to protect its legacy. There's no point highlighting a television show as the longest-running of its kind in history if it no longer has any credibility, and, to be blunt, is just plain shit. (That's a rant for another time, though. Back on topic!)
When the show began, Marge Simpson was a reasonably normal person, as were all of the characters-excluding the yellow skin. As the show progressed, though, she became increasingly needy and out of touch. Classic examples include her believing that potatoes are "neat" and show-and-tell worthy, not understanding why her 10-year-old son doesn't want to spend time with her (particularly if it involves 'playing the basketball"), and various references to somebody called Jim Nabors. Oh, and thinking that A-students are the height of popularity. As far as needy, my main complaint is that she frequently expects her family to do things and sacrifice things for her, with her (from my viewpoint) not giving a whole lot in return, aside from nagging-induced headaches. The family went on a holiday to England for her; Homer, despite his many fuckups, is always proving his love for her, yet she still asks him to do things like dump kilos upon kilos of sugar into the water "for [her]". For God's sake, woman, the man was panhandling for weeks to buy you diamond earrings for your anniversary (which anniversary is unknown, as they've always been married for 10 years); I reckon it's about time you stop expecting him to change himself and give up everything for you.
*Gasps for breath*. End rant. Time to go find something else to be angry about. Possibly Ned Flanders.
Friday 25 November 2011
Friday 18 November 2011
Chaos
So I haven't written in ages, and feel extremely guilty-not to mention annoyed! The short version is life has been getting in the way.
Unfortunately, I have no rants at the moment, but I am becoming increasingly irritated by a lack of civility in people these days. Mostly concerning people with children. As we're all aware, Christmas is rapidly approaching, meaning that the shops are packed. A large percentage of these people are oblivious parents, who look on as their little darlings wreck the merchandise, scream their heads off and cough on fellow shoppers. This is not a new question, but it continues to blow my mind: why the fuck would you have children if you're not going to pay attention to them or teach them basic rules of life? I fear for the future of the world.
Now that the obligatory rant is out the way, I'll do some other, less specific ranting! For the first time in ages (unless I have some form of amnesia), I'm genuinely excited for Christmas. So much so that I've had my tree up for a week, and half of the presents are already bought (or at least planned). I also got sent to some 3-day program last week at my employment agency. Unspeakably boring, but at least there was free food and good company! Apparently people have an easier time believing that I'm famous than they do believing that I'm actually 21. For those who aren't aware, I really am 21, but was never on TV. As a result of this program, I'll probably go for my learner's permit next week, purely because I can. I'm scared shitless of driving, but would at least like to have a backup, instead of having to sit back and let public transport dictate to me where I can go and when. Apart from that, not a lot has been happening around here, apart from a lot of shopping! Although I have been thinking about doing more writing in some form. If I had my way, I'd be posting here a lot more than I have been! But yeah, I've had a half-assed story in my head for years, that I originally wrote in about year 8, that I've always wanted to further develop in one way or another. I suppose my dream for it would be to turn it into a novel and then develop a screenplay, but I'm not sure of the likelihood of that! My latest idea is to make a horror anthology of sorts, with frightening, well-written, entertaining short stories. My main problem with that one is getting ideas, so we'll see what happens there! Writing is a lot easier when one actually has an imagination, haha.
Well, I think that about brings you up to speed on my non-existent life, so I might stop the useless chatter and go get some sleep. It was about 35 degrees here today, so I'm pretty much dead. Night, everybody! (Or, you know, nobody. It's fairly certain nobody actually reads this thing!)
Unfortunately, I have no rants at the moment, but I am becoming increasingly irritated by a lack of civility in people these days. Mostly concerning people with children. As we're all aware, Christmas is rapidly approaching, meaning that the shops are packed. A large percentage of these people are oblivious parents, who look on as their little darlings wreck the merchandise, scream their heads off and cough on fellow shoppers. This is not a new question, but it continues to blow my mind: why the fuck would you have children if you're not going to pay attention to them or teach them basic rules of life? I fear for the future of the world.
Now that the obligatory rant is out the way, I'll do some other, less specific ranting! For the first time in ages (unless I have some form of amnesia), I'm genuinely excited for Christmas. So much so that I've had my tree up for a week, and half of the presents are already bought (or at least planned). I also got sent to some 3-day program last week at my employment agency. Unspeakably boring, but at least there was free food and good company! Apparently people have an easier time believing that I'm famous than they do believing that I'm actually 21. For those who aren't aware, I really am 21, but was never on TV. As a result of this program, I'll probably go for my learner's permit next week, purely because I can. I'm scared shitless of driving, but would at least like to have a backup, instead of having to sit back and let public transport dictate to me where I can go and when. Apart from that, not a lot has been happening around here, apart from a lot of shopping! Although I have been thinking about doing more writing in some form. If I had my way, I'd be posting here a lot more than I have been! But yeah, I've had a half-assed story in my head for years, that I originally wrote in about year 8, that I've always wanted to further develop in one way or another. I suppose my dream for it would be to turn it into a novel and then develop a screenplay, but I'm not sure of the likelihood of that! My latest idea is to make a horror anthology of sorts, with frightening, well-written, entertaining short stories. My main problem with that one is getting ideas, so we'll see what happens there! Writing is a lot easier when one actually has an imagination, haha.
Well, I think that about brings you up to speed on my non-existent life, so I might stop the useless chatter and go get some sleep. It was about 35 degrees here today, so I'm pretty much dead. Night, everybody! (Or, you know, nobody. It's fairly certain nobody actually reads this thing!)
Wednesday 2 November 2011
Clip of the Week - Week 4 (plus various ranting)
I am so sorry for the continued delays! I ended up having a wild Halloween/Cup Day, which meant I was out of action for a bit. =P
I've been on a nostalgia trip lately, which brings me to this week's clip. We were all highly amused by this clip, and its sequels, a few years back. I remembered it a couple of days ago and wanted to share the nonsensical hilarity (if you haven't already seen it, that is).
Now for my ranting.
Firstly, I'm becoming increasingly baffled by campaigns to lower the road toll. I somehow don't believe that there will be less fatalities on our roads because a high-ranking police or government official makes a statement to the media, saying something to the effect of "Speeding is bad. Drink driving is bad, as is stealing cars. (Or whatever the context of the most recent accident is.) Stop breaking the rules, rebels; kthxbye." My confusion was increased while driving around good old Melton this afternoon, when we passed a sign flashing the words 'Drive Safely'. The people who already are driving safely don't need a sign on the side of the road reminding them to do what they're already doing, and the people who aren't driving safely aren't going to look at the sign and go "Hey, that sign has a point. I need to consider other road users, and the consequences of my actions. I'm going to be a better driver now. Thanks, sign! You've changed my life!"
Secondly, I'm currently rather frustrated with employment agencies. Because I'm lucky, I've been subjected to a number of them. I won't bother bitching about my latest one-partly because it's useless bitching (you know, unlike my other posts), partly because the joint has its positives. However, one consistent problem with all employment agencies is the lack of technology available to jobseekers. I wouldn't be surprised if the standard internet in these places is dial-up (although, in hindsight, it probably isn't), and the latest joint has no USB options, making applying for jobs pretty bloody hard. Oh, and they all seem to use something in the region of Windows XP, which means it takes 5 minutes to scroll down a page, as the computers can't handle such a monumental workload. With an outdated operating system, struggling internet and no file storage options, not to mention the most confusing, useless desktop setup I've encountered in my life, no wonder they seem to have decided that we're all dole bludgers. How are we supposed to fulfill our Centrelink requirements when the 'resources' provided to us mean that everything takes twice as long? I pity the poor people who don't have their own options at home. It's quite difficult to spend notable amounts of time searching for work, then rewarding yourself with games, porn or Youtube clips on a public computer.
I've been on a nostalgia trip lately, which brings me to this week's clip. We were all highly amused by this clip, and its sequels, a few years back. I remembered it a couple of days ago and wanted to share the nonsensical hilarity (if you haven't already seen it, that is).
Now for my ranting.
Firstly, I'm becoming increasingly baffled by campaigns to lower the road toll. I somehow don't believe that there will be less fatalities on our roads because a high-ranking police or government official makes a statement to the media, saying something to the effect of "Speeding is bad. Drink driving is bad, as is stealing cars. (Or whatever the context of the most recent accident is.) Stop breaking the rules, rebels; kthxbye." My confusion was increased while driving around good old Melton this afternoon, when we passed a sign flashing the words 'Drive Safely'. The people who already are driving safely don't need a sign on the side of the road reminding them to do what they're already doing, and the people who aren't driving safely aren't going to look at the sign and go "Hey, that sign has a point. I need to consider other road users, and the consequences of my actions. I'm going to be a better driver now. Thanks, sign! You've changed my life!"
Secondly, I'm currently rather frustrated with employment agencies. Because I'm lucky, I've been subjected to a number of them. I won't bother bitching about my latest one-partly because it's useless bitching (you know, unlike my other posts), partly because the joint has its positives. However, one consistent problem with all employment agencies is the lack of technology available to jobseekers. I wouldn't be surprised if the standard internet in these places is dial-up (although, in hindsight, it probably isn't), and the latest joint has no USB options, making applying for jobs pretty bloody hard. Oh, and they all seem to use something in the region of Windows XP, which means it takes 5 minutes to scroll down a page, as the computers can't handle such a monumental workload. With an outdated operating system, struggling internet and no file storage options, not to mention the most confusing, useless desktop setup I've encountered in my life, no wonder they seem to have decided that we're all dole bludgers. How are we supposed to fulfill our Centrelink requirements when the 'resources' provided to us mean that everything takes twice as long? I pity the poor people who don't have their own options at home. It's quite difficult to spend notable amounts of time searching for work, then rewarding yourself with games, porn or Youtube clips on a public computer.
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