So my idol, Axl Rose, celebrates his 50th birthday on Monday. In his honour, I wanted to write a post dedicated to how he, and Guns N' Roses, changed my life.
I'll start from the beginning. I first heard of GN'R when I was very young. My memory tells me I was about 5 years old, but for all I know, it could have been earlier! I was at home, and my siblings still lived at home. One of them, I think it was one of my sisters, had the TV on, and I was seemingly transfixed by the video for November Rain. That song stayed with me ever since. It hit me in a way that I don't believe any other song ever has, or ever will. It stuck with me for about 10 years, until I got the internet and somehow managed to find the song again.
At this stage, I was in the early years of high school, and was recovering from the embarrassment of being a Spice Girls fangirl. As I said, I had the internet at this point, so was able to get my GN'R fix. The resident asshole of my class was also a fan, and that made me remember to look for that awesome band (I think. I repressed most of high school.). I soon found them, and was able to watch the video for November Rain again.
For one of my birthdays a bit further down the track-I think it might have been my 14th-one of my brothers gave me my first mp3 player. Useless thing it was, but it fulfilled my needs at the time. With this new gadget, I looked for new songs, and soon fell in love with Bad Obsession, from Use Your Illusion I. I went to another world when listening to that song, and still do. I vividly remember sitting in the gym during PE class with it blasting in my ears, making me forget that I wasn't getting on with my friends, and not care that I wasn't one of the beautiful people off playing basketball. Bad Obsession made me content with my life at the time.
Fast forward a few years, to shortly after my 16th birthday. I was desperately unhappy at this point, like a lot of teenagers, and needed to find my own identity, instead of being a scared, spineless wuss, leeching a life off my best friend. Long story short, I cut all ties with her for a few months. Once again, Axl was there. Guns N' Roses kept me company in my lunchtimes and free periods, and distracted me from reality (and younger kids who saw that I was alone, felt sorry for me, and proceeded to stalk me).
Also around this time, I became one of the "downloading motherfuckers", and heard some of the leaks of Chinese Democracy. The demo of Better became my version of crack. When I first heard it, I'm fairly sure I listened to it for 12 hours straight. I rushed out of school, desperate to hear it again, and had the song in my head all the time. Despite that overexposure, it's still one of my all-time favourites.
Despite this deep love for the band, I didn't become a die-hard fan until around April 2007, when an Australian tour was announced; the first since 1993, and, therefore, the first in my lifetime. There were no words for my excitement. It was my first gig, and I even skipped first-period English to go and get my ticket. (Don't worry, I didn't go off the rails; my mother drove me.)
Then the day finally came. June 15th, 2007. Off I went to the show, where I proceeded to sit around texting people and silently laughing at all the other concertgoers who seemingly couldn't escape from the 80s. I believe that night was also the first time I got groped, so clearly it was a good night! Aside from my irritation at the more casual fans, that is. Even back then, as a naive 17 year old, I was still more than ready to punch anyone asking "Where's Slash?" or, better still, "Where's the dude with the hat?" Or anyone who was only there to hear Sweet Child O' Mine. Really? Spending $100+ to hear one song and to ask why the original guitarist isn't there playing it? But that's a rant for another time. Back to the show. Finally, at about 9pm, the show started. (Note: I don't believe Axl came on stage late, but I doubt I'd have given a shit if he did.) I screamed myself hoarse, and threw my neck out headbanging. I go mental at gigs, particularly that one. Then, a while into the show, Axl sits down at the piano and starts to play November Rain. I burst into tears. I was so in awe of this man, and the fact that I was privileged enough to be there, listening to my favourite song live. It got better, though. Towards the end of the night, the band played Patience. This moment was even more special, as I had one of the worst seats in the place; about 2 rows from the back. During the first verse, Axl strolls over to 'my' side of the stage, and proceeds to sing the entire verse while looking me directly in the eyes. I was fangirling like nobody's business at that moment. Or I would have been-I bought a shirt earlier in the night, and it had gone missing, so I was distracted by that and the possibility of being out $50. But yeah. I was punching myself in the arm to make sure that I was alive, and I couldn't believe my luck. That man has a very intense gaze! Another reason I was punching myself. That show has stuck with me ever since, and I've got a bit of a shrine going in my room-newspaper clippings, confetti, my ticket, photos, etc. Oh, that's right! My only downside of the night was that I'd bought my first digital camera for the occasion, and wasn't aware that it needed a memory card. As a result, I only got about half a dozen photos, most of them shit. I got audio of the show as well, but because I was in such a terrible seat, the sound isn't that great. Anyway. Best night ever, and I hope to god that I can repeat the experience at some stage in the forseeable future.
After this, it was a bit quiet on the GN'R front, until Chinese Democracy was finally released in November of 2008. I was ecstatic. Coincidentally, I had a job interview a day or so before the promoted release date, and went down to JB HiFi afterwards to see if it was in stock yet. I got my hands on 2 copies, and proceeded to read the lyrics and liner notes while I waited for a train home. I also got a can of Dr Pepper to commemorate the event. That album is insanely good. I couldn't listen to This I Love for months, as it made me cry every single time. (Thanks Axl. I needed more sobbing at this stage in my life!)
A few months after the album's release, a guitarist by the name of DJ Ashba joined Guns N' Roses. He, in my opinion, completes the band, and it is now my dream to see DJ and Axl onstage together, as they are my biggest inspirations. Hopefully that happens soon!
On a more personal level, I admire Axl because he is a fucking hilarious bastard, is loyal to those who are close to him, writes some of the best music I've ever heard in my life, and is the truest rockstar I've ever seen. A brief summary, as I could probably go on about his awesomeness forever-if I could articulate in the first place, instead of drooling. I'd love to meet him one day and tell him all of these things in person, but I guess I'll stick with writing this and sending it out into the world.
Happy birthday, Axl, and may you have many more! Thanks for changing my life, and so many others. =)
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