Today's rant concerns the "two most dangerous words in the English language": Marge Simpson. I have always disliked her, but today, this dislike became a burning hatred.
The episode that brought about my current fury is one from season 6-The PTA Disbands. For those of you who are unaware, Springfield's teachers go on strike after becoming frustrated with Principal Skinner's various (implausible) cost-cutting measures. As a result, the parents of Springfield, particularly Homer and Marge Simpson, are desperate for their children to resume their schooling after witnessing disturbing behaviour-or just general laziness, if the children don't happen to have the last name Simpson.
Marge's thoughts are as follows: "Lisa's becoming very obsessive. This morning, I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat...Bart's not doing very well, either. He needs boundaries and structure. There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome." Uh, Marge? I believe providing boundaries and structure for your child is your department, regardless of his teachers being on strike. It's not like he was a saint before this incident. Regardless of the various explanations for this behaviour (ADD, not enough hugs, being a genius-whatever), there's clearly something wrong at home if none of these causes provide a solution.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, however. My primary gripe with the Simpsons is that it's been on far too long, and has 'jumped the shark'. In trying to combat this, the writers have decided to exaggerate the characters' deficiencies to the point of absurdity, instead of, say, coming up with improved plots, or even cancelling the show altogether to protect its legacy. There's no point highlighting a television show as the longest-running of its kind in history if it no longer has any credibility, and, to be blunt, is just plain shit. (That's a rant for another time, though. Back on topic!)
When the show began, Marge Simpson was a reasonably normal person, as were all of the characters-excluding the yellow skin. As the show progressed, though, she became increasingly needy and out of touch. Classic examples include her believing that potatoes are "neat" and show-and-tell worthy, not understanding why her 10-year-old son doesn't want to spend time with her (particularly if it involves 'playing the basketball"), and various references to somebody called Jim Nabors. Oh, and thinking that A-students are the height of popularity. As far as needy, my main complaint is that she frequently expects her family to do things and sacrifice things for her, with her (from my viewpoint) not giving a whole lot in return, aside from nagging-induced headaches. The family went on a holiday to England for her; Homer, despite his many fuckups, is always proving his love for her, yet she still asks him to do things like dump kilos upon kilos of sugar into the water "for [her]". For God's sake, woman, the man was panhandling for weeks to buy you diamond earrings for your anniversary (which anniversary is unknown, as they've always been married for 10 years); I reckon it's about time you stop expecting him to change himself and give up everything for you.
*Gasps for breath*. End rant. Time to go find something else to be angry about. Possibly Ned Flanders.
Friday 25 November 2011
Friday 18 November 2011
Chaos
So I haven't written in ages, and feel extremely guilty-not to mention annoyed! The short version is life has been getting in the way.
Unfortunately, I have no rants at the moment, but I am becoming increasingly irritated by a lack of civility in people these days. Mostly concerning people with children. As we're all aware, Christmas is rapidly approaching, meaning that the shops are packed. A large percentage of these people are oblivious parents, who look on as their little darlings wreck the merchandise, scream their heads off and cough on fellow shoppers. This is not a new question, but it continues to blow my mind: why the fuck would you have children if you're not going to pay attention to them or teach them basic rules of life? I fear for the future of the world.
Now that the obligatory rant is out the way, I'll do some other, less specific ranting! For the first time in ages (unless I have some form of amnesia), I'm genuinely excited for Christmas. So much so that I've had my tree up for a week, and half of the presents are already bought (or at least planned). I also got sent to some 3-day program last week at my employment agency. Unspeakably boring, but at least there was free food and good company! Apparently people have an easier time believing that I'm famous than they do believing that I'm actually 21. For those who aren't aware, I really am 21, but was never on TV. As a result of this program, I'll probably go for my learner's permit next week, purely because I can. I'm scared shitless of driving, but would at least like to have a backup, instead of having to sit back and let public transport dictate to me where I can go and when. Apart from that, not a lot has been happening around here, apart from a lot of shopping! Although I have been thinking about doing more writing in some form. If I had my way, I'd be posting here a lot more than I have been! But yeah, I've had a half-assed story in my head for years, that I originally wrote in about year 8, that I've always wanted to further develop in one way or another. I suppose my dream for it would be to turn it into a novel and then develop a screenplay, but I'm not sure of the likelihood of that! My latest idea is to make a horror anthology of sorts, with frightening, well-written, entertaining short stories. My main problem with that one is getting ideas, so we'll see what happens there! Writing is a lot easier when one actually has an imagination, haha.
Well, I think that about brings you up to speed on my non-existent life, so I might stop the useless chatter and go get some sleep. It was about 35 degrees here today, so I'm pretty much dead. Night, everybody! (Or, you know, nobody. It's fairly certain nobody actually reads this thing!)
Unfortunately, I have no rants at the moment, but I am becoming increasingly irritated by a lack of civility in people these days. Mostly concerning people with children. As we're all aware, Christmas is rapidly approaching, meaning that the shops are packed. A large percentage of these people are oblivious parents, who look on as their little darlings wreck the merchandise, scream their heads off and cough on fellow shoppers. This is not a new question, but it continues to blow my mind: why the fuck would you have children if you're not going to pay attention to them or teach them basic rules of life? I fear for the future of the world.
Now that the obligatory rant is out the way, I'll do some other, less specific ranting! For the first time in ages (unless I have some form of amnesia), I'm genuinely excited for Christmas. So much so that I've had my tree up for a week, and half of the presents are already bought (or at least planned). I also got sent to some 3-day program last week at my employment agency. Unspeakably boring, but at least there was free food and good company! Apparently people have an easier time believing that I'm famous than they do believing that I'm actually 21. For those who aren't aware, I really am 21, but was never on TV. As a result of this program, I'll probably go for my learner's permit next week, purely because I can. I'm scared shitless of driving, but would at least like to have a backup, instead of having to sit back and let public transport dictate to me where I can go and when. Apart from that, not a lot has been happening around here, apart from a lot of shopping! Although I have been thinking about doing more writing in some form. If I had my way, I'd be posting here a lot more than I have been! But yeah, I've had a half-assed story in my head for years, that I originally wrote in about year 8, that I've always wanted to further develop in one way or another. I suppose my dream for it would be to turn it into a novel and then develop a screenplay, but I'm not sure of the likelihood of that! My latest idea is to make a horror anthology of sorts, with frightening, well-written, entertaining short stories. My main problem with that one is getting ideas, so we'll see what happens there! Writing is a lot easier when one actually has an imagination, haha.
Well, I think that about brings you up to speed on my non-existent life, so I might stop the useless chatter and go get some sleep. It was about 35 degrees here today, so I'm pretty much dead. Night, everybody! (Or, you know, nobody. It's fairly certain nobody actually reads this thing!)
Wednesday 2 November 2011
Clip of the Week - Week 4 (plus various ranting)
I am so sorry for the continued delays! I ended up having a wild Halloween/Cup Day, which meant I was out of action for a bit. =P
I've been on a nostalgia trip lately, which brings me to this week's clip. We were all highly amused by this clip, and its sequels, a few years back. I remembered it a couple of days ago and wanted to share the nonsensical hilarity (if you haven't already seen it, that is).
Now for my ranting.
Firstly, I'm becoming increasingly baffled by campaigns to lower the road toll. I somehow don't believe that there will be less fatalities on our roads because a high-ranking police or government official makes a statement to the media, saying something to the effect of "Speeding is bad. Drink driving is bad, as is stealing cars. (Or whatever the context of the most recent accident is.) Stop breaking the rules, rebels; kthxbye." My confusion was increased while driving around good old Melton this afternoon, when we passed a sign flashing the words 'Drive Safely'. The people who already are driving safely don't need a sign on the side of the road reminding them to do what they're already doing, and the people who aren't driving safely aren't going to look at the sign and go "Hey, that sign has a point. I need to consider other road users, and the consequences of my actions. I'm going to be a better driver now. Thanks, sign! You've changed my life!"
Secondly, I'm currently rather frustrated with employment agencies. Because I'm lucky, I've been subjected to a number of them. I won't bother bitching about my latest one-partly because it's useless bitching (you know, unlike my other posts), partly because the joint has its positives. However, one consistent problem with all employment agencies is the lack of technology available to jobseekers. I wouldn't be surprised if the standard internet in these places is dial-up (although, in hindsight, it probably isn't), and the latest joint has no USB options, making applying for jobs pretty bloody hard. Oh, and they all seem to use something in the region of Windows XP, which means it takes 5 minutes to scroll down a page, as the computers can't handle such a monumental workload. With an outdated operating system, struggling internet and no file storage options, not to mention the most confusing, useless desktop setup I've encountered in my life, no wonder they seem to have decided that we're all dole bludgers. How are we supposed to fulfill our Centrelink requirements when the 'resources' provided to us mean that everything takes twice as long? I pity the poor people who don't have their own options at home. It's quite difficult to spend notable amounts of time searching for work, then rewarding yourself with games, porn or Youtube clips on a public computer.
I've been on a nostalgia trip lately, which brings me to this week's clip. We were all highly amused by this clip, and its sequels, a few years back. I remembered it a couple of days ago and wanted to share the nonsensical hilarity (if you haven't already seen it, that is).
Now for my ranting.
Firstly, I'm becoming increasingly baffled by campaigns to lower the road toll. I somehow don't believe that there will be less fatalities on our roads because a high-ranking police or government official makes a statement to the media, saying something to the effect of "Speeding is bad. Drink driving is bad, as is stealing cars. (Or whatever the context of the most recent accident is.) Stop breaking the rules, rebels; kthxbye." My confusion was increased while driving around good old Melton this afternoon, when we passed a sign flashing the words 'Drive Safely'. The people who already are driving safely don't need a sign on the side of the road reminding them to do what they're already doing, and the people who aren't driving safely aren't going to look at the sign and go "Hey, that sign has a point. I need to consider other road users, and the consequences of my actions. I'm going to be a better driver now. Thanks, sign! You've changed my life!"
Secondly, I'm currently rather frustrated with employment agencies. Because I'm lucky, I've been subjected to a number of them. I won't bother bitching about my latest one-partly because it's useless bitching (you know, unlike my other posts), partly because the joint has its positives. However, one consistent problem with all employment agencies is the lack of technology available to jobseekers. I wouldn't be surprised if the standard internet in these places is dial-up (although, in hindsight, it probably isn't), and the latest joint has no USB options, making applying for jobs pretty bloody hard. Oh, and they all seem to use something in the region of Windows XP, which means it takes 5 minutes to scroll down a page, as the computers can't handle such a monumental workload. With an outdated operating system, struggling internet and no file storage options, not to mention the most confusing, useless desktop setup I've encountered in my life, no wonder they seem to have decided that we're all dole bludgers. How are we supposed to fulfill our Centrelink requirements when the 'resources' provided to us mean that everything takes twice as long? I pity the poor people who don't have their own options at home. It's quite difficult to spend notable amounts of time searching for work, then rewarding yourself with games, porn or Youtube clips on a public computer.
Monday 24 October 2011
Clip of the Week - Week 3
I know I keep saying I'll try and post more often and all that, but it seems I'm quite popular this week lately, and haven't had time. I can tell there are a large number of you who give a shit.
My clip for this week is Sonne, by Rammstein-one of my favourite bands of all time. This song brings back memories, mostly of this year's Big Day Out. I should really post my terrible video of the performance of this song somewhere. Anyway. Great band, awesome song. Note that there's explicit content in the video, etc etc.
This has given me an idea. I'm thinking my next post will be My Life in Gigs. It will be rambling and great. Now, to remember which gigs I've been to...
My clip for this week is Sonne, by Rammstein-one of my favourite bands of all time. This song brings back memories, mostly of this year's Big Day Out. I should really post my terrible video of the performance of this song somewhere. Anyway. Great band, awesome song. Note that there's explicit content in the video, etc etc.
This has given me an idea. I'm thinking my next post will be My Life in Gigs. It will be rambling and great. Now, to remember which gigs I've been to...
Sunday 23 October 2011
Loneliness
Apologies again for my lack of posts lately; it's not been the best week. I'm doing my best to find a way to be long-winded and entertaining for you all again!
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, as I don't have a lot to say. I'm sitting by the fire at a party. It's 1:30am. It's one of the rare times I've actually been able to see my friends and have a laugh with them and all that, which has been awesome, but at the moment I'm feeling pretty low. I've spent most of the night missing people-some of them present, some of them not. At the moment, all I want is to be with these people. That, and sleep!
I shouldn't even miss some of them. Either I've just seen them (but not for long enough, as usual), or I can't stand them. My mother, for example. I've spent a decent portion of my life wanting nothing more than to be away from her, but right now, I just want to be chilling at home. Guess she isn't the only one who's been possessed by the Pod People! Then there's the third category-the people who I can't admit that I miss, because that would suggest that I'm closer to them than I perhaps 'should' be. That's an exceedingly complicated category, so I'll just move on. Um...what to move on to? No idea, so maybe I'll just stop writing and attempt to rejoin the party. Guess that was my rant for the week: people, and the emotions and the like associated with them, are seriously confusing.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, as I don't have a lot to say. I'm sitting by the fire at a party. It's 1:30am. It's one of the rare times I've actually been able to see my friends and have a laugh with them and all that, which has been awesome, but at the moment I'm feeling pretty low. I've spent most of the night missing people-some of them present, some of them not. At the moment, all I want is to be with these people. That, and sleep!
I shouldn't even miss some of them. Either I've just seen them (but not for long enough, as usual), or I can't stand them. My mother, for example. I've spent a decent portion of my life wanting nothing more than to be away from her, but right now, I just want to be chilling at home. Guess she isn't the only one who's been possessed by the Pod People! Then there's the third category-the people who I can't admit that I miss, because that would suggest that I'm closer to them than I perhaps 'should' be. That's an exceedingly complicated category, so I'll just move on. Um...what to move on to? No idea, so maybe I'll just stop writing and attempt to rejoin the party. Guess that was my rant for the week: people, and the emotions and the like associated with them, are seriously confusing.
Monday 17 October 2011
Clip of the Week - Week 2
Greetings readers!
My apologies for the lack of posts lately, but I've been having yet another bout of writers block. It's been great. Anyway, without further ado, here's my second Clip of the Week. It's another old favourite of mine.
I have absolutely nothing to say at the moment, so I'll just finish up now, and will hopefully post something more entertaining in the next couple of days. If there's anything you'd love to 'hear' me rant about, let me know!
My apologies for the lack of posts lately, but I've been having yet another bout of writers block. It's been great. Anyway, without further ado, here's my second Clip of the Week. It's another old favourite of mine.
I have absolutely nothing to say at the moment, so I'll just finish up now, and will hopefully post something more entertaining in the next couple of days. If there's anything you'd love to 'hear' me rant about, let me know!
Monday 10 October 2011
Clip of the Week
Hey everyone,
This is the first of what I intend to make a weekly feature on this blog, so that a) you can know a bit more about me, and b) you can be educated on what good music is, in case you weren't already aware. =P
There are no words for the love I have for this song, so I'll just shut up and add the clip. Enjoy!
This is the first of what I intend to make a weekly feature on this blog, so that a) you can know a bit more about me, and b) you can be educated on what good music is, in case you weren't already aware. =P
There are no words for the love I have for this song, so I'll just shut up and add the clip. Enjoy!
Sunday 9 October 2011
Dilemma
So, it's October once again, which means it's time for my annual identity crisis. The time of year where I experience feelings of inadequacy and twinges of longing for university.
I've attempted uni twice before, but left for similar reasons both times. It took two hours of transport each way, and I had no money, and no social skills or confidence; all of which are essential for getting through. Not to mention some faint idea of what you're actually doing there. I failed all but one of my classes the first time around, and the second time, I got stuck taking classes I didn't have any interest or capability in, as all of the classes I wanted to enrol in were apparently scheduled for the same time. It mustn't be very common for a person to want to study English and cinema. Anyway. The point is I was in way over my head, in a number of ways.
Since then, I've pretty much had no idea who I am. When I was young (because, you know, I'm at the walking-frame age now), I was always 'the smart one', 'the gifted one', the one who belonged at university and would undoubtedly be successful. When I was forced to realize that maybe this path wasn't for me after all, I pretty much lost my only defining quality. As a result, every year, when the media bombards me with stories and images of accomplished teens and their worlds of possibilities, I still think "I could be that too. Things have changed. I'm older, richer, more knowledgeable and a more sane person, and I have more options and resources available to me now. It could work." But then I remember reality: I don't have the drive, at least not long-term, I don't know what I want to do, so signing up for tertiary education yet again would be a bit pointless, money would yet again be an issue, I might well end up in classes I don't want or a situation I'm not comfortable/happy in, and I should really be devoting my energy to getting (and keeping) full-time work. However, all the jobs I show any real interest in require education and/or extensive experience.
So, my annual dilemma is this: do I follow a life path because circumstances dictate, and potentially waste my life, or do I try for something I want, despite the fact that it could well end up failing again, and the possibility that I might be wanting/doing all this just to 'fulfill my destiny'?
As a bonus addition, here's my Rant of the Day:
I utterly despise spelling errors. Admittedly, I make a few myself (that's right, you dictionary does not, in fact, know all), but I don't have nearly as many people paying attention as, say, a large company.
I was applying for jobs on Seek last night, and was rudely interrupted with a message saying that the website was down, in order for them to 'inmprove the job seeking experience'. Surely the person/people behind this message would be required to be attentive to details, and have basic knowledge of English? It's a frequent occurrence in job advertisements, as well. A few weeks ago, I noticed a number of vacancies in cafes and restaurants...for 'barristers'. Uh, guys? I'm not likely to apply for any jobs you display if you can't even get the industry right! (Not that I'd be a barista anyway, but this isn't specifically me we're talking about here.) I don't know about any of you, but I refuse to acknowledge businesses that have spelling/grammatical errors in their promotional/recruitment material; it just puts them in a really negative light in my eyes. Like, "you're a large company, yet you can't spell. I don't trust you. Bye." In summary, I have far too much time on my hands, and am far too pedantic for my own good. End rant.
I've attempted uni twice before, but left for similar reasons both times. It took two hours of transport each way, and I had no money, and no social skills or confidence; all of which are essential for getting through. Not to mention some faint idea of what you're actually doing there. I failed all but one of my classes the first time around, and the second time, I got stuck taking classes I didn't have any interest or capability in, as all of the classes I wanted to enrol in were apparently scheduled for the same time. It mustn't be very common for a person to want to study English and cinema. Anyway. The point is I was in way over my head, in a number of ways.
Since then, I've pretty much had no idea who I am. When I was young (because, you know, I'm at the walking-frame age now), I was always 'the smart one', 'the gifted one', the one who belonged at university and would undoubtedly be successful. When I was forced to realize that maybe this path wasn't for me after all, I pretty much lost my only defining quality. As a result, every year, when the media bombards me with stories and images of accomplished teens and their worlds of possibilities, I still think "I could be that too. Things have changed. I'm older, richer, more knowledgeable and a more sane person, and I have more options and resources available to me now. It could work." But then I remember reality: I don't have the drive, at least not long-term, I don't know what I want to do, so signing up for tertiary education yet again would be a bit pointless, money would yet again be an issue, I might well end up in classes I don't want or a situation I'm not comfortable/happy in, and I should really be devoting my energy to getting (and keeping) full-time work. However, all the jobs I show any real interest in require education and/or extensive experience.
So, my annual dilemma is this: do I follow a life path because circumstances dictate, and potentially waste my life, or do I try for something I want, despite the fact that it could well end up failing again, and the possibility that I might be wanting/doing all this just to 'fulfill my destiny'?
As a bonus addition, here's my Rant of the Day:
I utterly despise spelling errors. Admittedly, I make a few myself (that's right, you dictionary does not, in fact, know all), but I don't have nearly as many people paying attention as, say, a large company.
I was applying for jobs on Seek last night, and was rudely interrupted with a message saying that the website was down, in order for them to 'inmprove the job seeking experience'. Surely the person/people behind this message would be required to be attentive to details, and have basic knowledge of English? It's a frequent occurrence in job advertisements, as well. A few weeks ago, I noticed a number of vacancies in cafes and restaurants...for 'barristers'. Uh, guys? I'm not likely to apply for any jobs you display if you can't even get the industry right! (Not that I'd be a barista anyway, but this isn't specifically me we're talking about here.) I don't know about any of you, but I refuse to acknowledge businesses that have spelling/grammatical errors in their promotional/recruitment material; it just puts them in a really negative light in my eyes. Like, "you're a large company, yet you can't spell. I don't trust you. Bye." In summary, I have far too much time on my hands, and am far too pedantic for my own good. End rant.
Wednesday 5 October 2011
Allow me to introduce myself...
...by listing a few random facts!
- I'm known for my ranting, hence the blog's title. Facebook isn't really an appropriate place for such long-winded anger.
- I love black. No, really.
- I'm a sucker for nostalgia. Cheesy 1990s music, sharing stories with friends, you name it.
- I swear. A lot.
- My family is a bit strange, so there will undoubtedly be tales of all those crazy people on here.
- Without music and friends, my life would be nothing.
- I'm obsessed with The Simpsons. One of my more frequent rant topics on here will be everything that's wrong with the show.
- I love to shock people, be it practical jokes or changing myself unexpectedly in some way.
- You might say I'm a bit of a skank. Not outwardly, though!
- I started this blog to provide myself with a free hobby, and to possibly resurrect some of my former writing talents. That, and entertaining anyone who may happen upon my ravings and/or stories.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)